Thursday, August 6, 2009

Steady now ...

I like to read a lot. I read many different books but mostly fantasy. I've had a lot of ideas spinning around in my head and I am afraid to put them on paper because of what people might think or worse yet, what I might think. I really do not like reading my own stuff, I think it's stupid most of the time, but I guess I would never get it to the standard I want if I don't just write! So, this is what I am going to do, I am going to write and even if it sucks, it's OK, that's why this blog isn't so public afterall. =)


I liked the sound of the ocean. It might sound cliche but the sound of the waves as they crash upon the rocks during a high tide or the low lull they create during a low tide really calms me. Water always calmed me. I suppose it was remnant from my past, a past that I tried to suppress with no success. Where there is water my old life would not be forgotten. The easiest thing to do would be to move inland, away from such an open source, but I could not bring myself to do the one thing that would keep me from my old life. Without water I would whither and die. I moved away from my people but I could not move away from the ocean.

It seemed like only yesterday I was standing in a similar spot with an altogether different feeling. I was not alone that time, I was with him. He was the source of my joy and my pain. The reason I left and the reason I could not return. He was human. Some say that the humans are frail, after all they only lived for a few years compared to our centuries. He was different to me, I did not reveal myself to him, in a way he revealed himself to me. He saw through my glamour, I did not see him coming.

We became fast friends and with each passing meeting he left with a little piece of my heart. We were alone near the ocean, it was a cool afternoon. Had I known that it was the last time I would be seeing him I might have said the words that I held inside myself for so long. There were many times when I almost did, but I was afraid, afraid of the human emotion of sadness. We were not suppose to experience sadness, we were carefree, happy, there was no sadness in our essence at all. I was afraid he would not be able to say those words to me in return. So I stood at the end of the ocean and beckoned him to come closer. He took my outstretched hand - for the first time responding to my touch, he was wise for a human - and held on as we walked along the ocean floor deeper into the water. I stopped when it came half way up our bodies, he was human after all, and even though he was a strong swimmer I did not want to tempt the other beings that were in the deep end of the ocean.

I wanted to hold on to his hand all evening, to feel the warmth it provided, but I let go and that was the biggest mistake of my life.


  1. It's nice, dark. I like it.

    When I write something, I put it away for at least a month and don't look at it. Then, when I read it again, it's like I'm not reading my own work, because it's not, because I'm not the same person I was a month ago. It's fresh, and usually quite brilliant.

  2. yeah, I'll probably put it away and not look at it! I don't really know why I wanted to write something so dreary ... =D